Cat Haiku

You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.

You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail!
Behold, elevator butt.

The rule for today:
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.

In deep sleep hear sound
cat vomit hairball somewhere
will find in morning.

Grace personified.
I leap into the window.
I meant to do that.

Blur of motion, then --
silence, me, a paper bag.
What is so funny?

The mighty hunter
Returns with gifts of plump birds --
your foot just squashed one.

You're always typing.
Well, let's see you ignore my
sitting on your hands.

My small cardboard box.
You cannot see me if I
can just hide my head.

Terrible battle.
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What's a 'term paper?'

Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes,
Fear vacuum cleaner

I want to be close
to you. Can I fit my head
inside your armpit?

Wanna go outside.
Oh, poop! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!

Oh no! Big One
has been trapped by newspaper!
Cat to the rescue!

Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in bed, then screams;
My claws are not that sharp.

www.strangeplaces.net/weirdthings/cathaiku.html

Gopher Football Spring Practice Update

from Chip Scoggins:

The Gophers returned to practice Tuesday for the first of four workouts in five days. The Gophers also practiced outside for the first time this spring, which made coach Tim Brewster happy.

Here are some notes and quotes from Brewster’s post-practice chat:

– Brewster on Saturday’s 100-play scrimmage: “I was really pleased. I thought the kids flew around. Execution both offensively and defensively was pretty far along for where we’re at right now.”

– Brewster said the coaching staff has challenged RB Duane Bennett to become a more physical runner and to get his pad level lower. He said Bennett is getting better at that and had a big collision with linebacker Steve Davis on the goal line.

– Speaking of goal-line situations, I asked Brewster if he has a fullback now that Justin Valentine has graduated. He said the staff is looking at Nick Tow-Arnett. They also used nose guard Eric Small at fullback in goal line for the first time Tuesday. “He’s a load,” Brewster said. “He’s an athlete. It was kind of exciting to see him. He’s an athletic kid for a big guy.”

– Brewster said David Pittman will play multiple positions in the spring game on both sides of the ball.

– The Gophers are scheduled to practice Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Asked what he hopes to achieve in four practices this week, Brewswter said: “I want to be a hard-nosed physical football team. That’s how we’ve practiced all spring. Anybody who has been out to see us practice has seen a hard-nosed physical team. I think we’ve taken the proper steps this spring to improve next fall.”

– Brewster said his team’s health has been good so far. Only a few bumps and bruises. “To me, you get your injuries when you’re kind of being sloppy,” he said. “When your feet are hot, when you’re playing fast, less of that stuff is likely to happen.”

– Brewster on the impact of incoming jucos: “Any of the junior college kids, if they don’t really help us from Day One, then we didn’t necessarily do as good a job as we should have in our evaluation.”

– I had a chance to talk to running back Jay Thomas, who is rehabbing a torn ACL. Thomas said he’s a little ahead of schedule and began cutting on his right knee this week. I’ll have more on Thomas this weekend.

Barack Obama the Elitist