Mr.Burns: Quick Smithers. Bring the mind eraser device!
Smithers: You mean the revolver, sir?
Mr.Burns: Precisely.

1st Edition

This will be a new soft, pleasant, warm & fuzzy Friday feature on MarxistGopher where anyone can talk about their feelings about anything they want and take the post in any direction they want. (A kind of open thread) A place to come on a Friday to get out your anger and frustration from the last week of pain and disappointment. Being this is the first edition of ‘Feelings’ I’ll start it out with the first comment, but I won’t always (so as to allow a more open format). As always, I hope you enjoy!

'My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.' -Grandpa Simpson

A new daily(thats right daily) feature that I'll be running. It's easy and hopefully everyone will enjoy it...I thought this an appropriate one to start with.

Wellstone Urges Son's Senate Run from Beyond the Grave

Wellstone campaign fliers appear in mailboxes (Star Tribune)

I think this is definately a sign from above(and I don't even believe in Jebus) that one of the Wellstone sons should run for the 2006 Senate seat, or at least get involved in politics and run for a smaller office. I know they don't really want to run for office and they have their own careers and shit like that, but come on, God knows the DFL needs 'em. Someone in that family needs to stop thinking about only themselves and think about the people of Minnesota. The Minnesota Democratic party is in such a shitty state that the best Senate candidates they can come up with are Patty Wetterling and Amy Klobuchar!?! Where's a Wellstone when you need one? So anyway, Mark Wellstone for Senate(or state Rep, or whatever office he wants)!

Or maybe this is just a morbid post office error that only serves to remind us of our pain and the terrible place that the Party is now in. I guess it depends whether you're a glass half-full or half-empty kind of person.

New Bowl Game for Next Year: The Poinsettia Bowl

The Pionsettia Bowl will be played in San Diego on Dec. 22 at Qualcomm Stadium. It's tie-in is to the Mountain West Conference and the other team will be 'at-large.'

New Bowl Staged One Week Before Holiday Bowl (ESPN)

This is definately the best name of all the bowl games now. Come on...the Poinsettia Bowl? Nothing can top that. Why doesn't Minnesota put together a package and create The Snowflake Bowl?!

Minnesota Senate Race

Wetterling Leads Kennedy by 9 pts.

In fairness, I found this poll on Wetterling's site. However, it does confirm what I already suspected about the Democratic candidates...basically that Wetterling is a stronger candidate than Klobuchar or Cerisi. The poll shows Wetterling leading by 9, Klobuchar leading by 2, and Cerisi trailing by 3! Granted, that may just be name recognition at this point, but I can't see large numbers of people turning against Patty Wetterling. She almost beat the incumbant Republican in 'the' most conservative district in the state, there's NO WAY she loses to Kennedy in a statewide race. This is not an endorsement of her candidacy by MarxistGopher(I'm waiting to see who else jumps in...Rukavina, Janezich), but of the candidates in the race right now, Wetterling is our best option.

Another Successful Year in the War On Terror

I'm sure most have already heard about this, but what the hell, there's nothing else interesting happening....well except for the whole 'nuclear option' thingy in the Senate, but I don't even know where to begin with that one...see below.

Report Shows 2004 Rise in Terror Attacks (AP)

Al Gore Again Speaks With the Passion He Needed in 2000!

Former Vice President Al Gore on Wednesday blamed Republican "lust for one-party domination" for the GOP campaign to change Senate rules on filibustering judicial nominees, and he assailed religious zealots for driving the effort.

Gore Blasts GOP Bid to Block Filibusters (AP)

Player Profile #10

Burt 'Hutz' Johnson

Other Nicknames: 'Ambulance Chaser,' 'Iverson,' '& Ernie'
Position: Forward (4)
Hometown: St. Paul, MN
Favorite Team: eh Minnesooota eh
Favorite Sport: Basketball
Favorite Activity: Studying the Law and Obeying the Law
Favorite Ass to Kiss: Barbara Welke
Interesting Fact: Likes to yell 'YEAH!' out his downtown Madison apartment at the drunks walking by on the street...and most of the times they respond back with a 'yeah!' or a 'whoooo!' of their own.
Most Annoying Attribute: Blinding red hair that leaves you unable to look directly at him. Ahhhh...it burns!
Comparable TV Character: Lionel Hutz of course, duh...(The Simpsons' solicitor and an attorney at law. Lies, cheats and bribes juries and witnesses and once repeatedly ran over Judge Snyder's son. In jail a lot himself, so knows the ropes in a court. Gives away smoking monkey statues.)...This comparison is just so obvious I won't waste any time or space explaining it....instead I'll fill it with Lionel Hutz quotes..."Don't worry, Homer. I have a foolproof strategy to get you out of here. Surprise witnesses, each more surprising than the last. The judge won't know what hit him."... what the hell, one more...
Prosecutor: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. Who do you find more attractive. Tom Cruise or Mel Gibson?
Judge: What is the point of all this?
Prosecutor: Your Honor, I'm so confident of Marge Simpson's guilt, that I can waste the court's time rating the superhunks.
Hutz: Ooohh. He's gonna' win
Another Interesting Fact: Once dated a girl purely so he could play with her toys...no seriously, she had this amazing toy collection...wait, that was a Seinfeld episode...never mind.
League Background: Basically the same story as 'Surly.' Was invited by Jay and Matt when he worked at the census, then didn't play for a while, then I invited him back when we had Welke's class together...was a regular for about 2 years, then began his trek to Mississippi, Wisconsin, LA, Wisconsin, and this summer to DC.
Strength: Rebounding...dominant on the boards. Uses his body to clear the lane and box out and then uses his long arms to get anything that comes near him. Gets many of his points on putbacks, but can also create his own offense(lots of nice moves when he gets you posted up) and occasionally step back and make a long jumper.
Weakness: Lack of Speed...not an option on an offensive fast break and is also usually taken out of the defense on a fast break the other way.

Grades-
Offense: A
Defense: B+
Rebounding: A
Passing: B+
Hustle: B
Attitude: B-

Overall Grade: A-

FLASH: The MarxistGopher Report grows in popularity

Sources are now saying that regular readership is approaching 20!

I'm thinking of quitting my job and running the blog full time as a paysite...subscriptions $10 a month...maybe I should think a little more about this(and get off the mood altering drugs) before I make any big life decisions...

Bush Asks About 'Splash Day'

I just lifted this from Drudge Report(and probably broke some copyright laws). Ahh, good stuff...

President Bush raised eyebrows on Tuesday when he asked locals in Galveston, Texas: "Do you still have Splash Day?"
"Splash Day" is the annual "adult oriented enormous beach party" celebration on the Gulf Coast.
BUSH: Do you still have Splash Day?
(LAUGHTER)
BUSH: You have to be a baby boomer to know what I'm talking about.
(LAUGHTER)
BUSH: I'm not saying whether I came or not on Splash Day. I'm just saying, Do you have Splash Day?
(LAUGHTER)
Bush was unaware "Splash Day" is now a fully gay and lesbian event on the beaches.

The New Blogging Machine

Thought I'd take a second to show off my new expensive blogging machine. I know its a lot of money to spend on something that can only access and post on blogs, but really what else would you do with one of these things?

And a general MarxistGopher Report update...I've archived all the basketball profiles for easy access. They're after the 'previous posts' and before the general daily 'archives.' My apologies to those of you looking for new basketball profiles. I've been really lax with those lately(running out of ideas) but promise to finish them up soon. (I want to get on to those cat profiles). Let me know if you have any other suggestions for the blog(style or content).
Solidarity,
MarxistGopher

CNN's Corporate Scandal Page

I was very surprised to find out today that CNN.com has a special page devoted entirely to corporate scandals, Scandal Inc. They even have a handy interactive "scandal timeline." Check it out...

http://money.cnn.com/news/specials/corruption/index.html

Hybrid Car Sales in U.S. Soar in 2004

"...hybrid market has grown by 960 percent since 2000...Even though hybrids still represent less than 1 percent of the 17 million new vehicles sold in 2004, major automakers are planning to introduce about a dozen new hybrids during the next three years."

Hybrid Car Sales Soar in US in 2004 (AP)