MarxistGopher Update - Poverty, Gopher Football, & Bowling

So, I have $400 to my name right now. I'm poor. No, not just poor, fucking poor. I'm selling 7 football and hockey jerseys on eBay right now because I need the cash. They're selling for roughly $775 right now, and end on Sunday. I know that sounds like a lot of money, but once you subtract the eBay fees and I split the profits with Matt(we own these together...long story), we're probably talking about $300-$350. As long as nothing happens to Spitfire in the next 6 months I should be fine.(Vet bills have killed me in the last year)

The problem really is Gopher Football. The spring game is coming up this Saturday at 11am at the Metrodome(thats my plug). While it is a free event, they are selling public season tickets for a 20% discount at the game. I've never had my own season tickets in the past(I've always gone with Matt), but I'm thinking about getting my own for 2 reasons: 1. So I can get some seating priority when the new stadium is built. 2: While I'm keeping my priority I can sell the single game tickets and hopefully get my money back or even make some small profit. So I have to come up with $360 somehow to buy those tickets on Saturday. Hello plastic!

Okay, so lets assume I find a way to get through the season ticket issue. In June, it looks like the Athletic department will be having their semi-annual equipment sale....drool. This can get very expensive, especially if they have football and hockey jerseys...drool. I'm not planning on buying much, but we'll see if that holds when I show up and see all those jerseys hanging on those racks.

So fine, lets even say I find a way to mentally and financially struggle through both of these problems. Now the University has announced that the Gophs will be wearing 1960 throwback uniforms for the North Dakota State game this fall, and then auctioning off those uniforms afterwards. My God! I have to have a couple of those unis! Ahhh! So as you can see, being a collector of Gopher Football equipment is not an acceptable hobby for someone with my financial situation. But hey, what do I do? Thats what I Love? Aren't those beautiful jerseys?

But anyway....I digress....

Nothing really exciting going on with me this week. I've just been staying home watching the teli. I'm really into the TV show "House," and just got the first season on DVD from Netflix. I've been wathing those episodes one after another every night this week. Tonight I'm going bowling....yeah, thats right, bowling....with Brianne and Jason at Nokomis Lanes for Briannes 'Y' group thingy. I don't know, one of the things shes involved in. I assume it's for a good cause? I'm really kind of nervous about it b/c; I really suck at bowling and don't want to make an ass of myself(some macho thing); and there's going to be a lot people I don't know there, which is scary :( Hopefully I'll be feeling alright. I got violently ill right after lunch today. I'll spare you the details, but it weren't good! But I'm feeling better now :)

Now I'm heading home. I need to recover from a day at the MPC before I can venture out in public again. Sorry this post was so boring. I'll have something more interesting to post about tomorrow....maybe ;)

Personal Profile #4 "Adam"

Adam Jacobson

Nicknames: Damn, he has none...maybe G-Dog.
Years Known: 12 (Since Jr. High at Hosterman)
Car: Purple Plymouth Breeze
Car Nickname: The Purple Car
Dwelling: Lives in parents house...tee-hee
Favorite Drink: Rum and Coke
Favorite Food: Steak
Favorite Activity: Sleeping
Favorite Cartoon Character: Quagmire











Most Used Word: I have no idea?
World Philosophy: Sleep.....as much as possible
Origin Story: Ah, the good old days of riding the bus to school. We met at Hosterman in art class I believe, but we didn't become friends until High School. We rode the same bus to school. I'd be sitting there with my head against the window trying not to vomit and trying to think of ways to kill myself before we got to school, and Adam would always sit next to me and poke/annoy me on the way to school. I guess we became good friends after we had Ms. Kelley's College Comp. class together. I'd always be nervously picking at my fingers and then bleeding almost every day...."You're bleeding again?!" Nothing like a friendship founded in severe social anxiety and blood!
Pissed Me Off When: Oh, soooooooo many times! He's my best friend....so naturally he's pissed me off more than anyone!
Strangest Physical Feature: The magic dislocating shoulder
Almost died when: The Nurse made a mistake and gave him way too much morphine when they were putting his magic shoulder back in place. He passed out but lived to tell about it.
Odor Factor: 3
Likelyhood to belch and/or fart in your presence(1-10): 6

Friendship Grades:

Reliability: A (pretty damn reliable...for an Asian guy!)
Honesty: A
Conversation: B (we've had too many conversations on the phone that consisted of a series of grunts to give him an A)
Common Interests: C+ (I dont like sleeping as much as he does)
Closeness: A
Staying Power: A (12 long fucking years)

Overall Friendship Grade: A-

Personal Profile #3 "Rachel"

Rachel Lea Smith

Nicknames: Cinnamon, Hips, Big Booty Ho, Poop, Boobies 36DD
Best Quote About Rachel: She "got them baby hips."
Years Known: 4
Car: Green 1995 Saturn Coupe with no working A/C (psst...its kind of messy inside too)
Dwelling: Tiny Tiny apartment in Loring Park with a kitchen so small.....(insert humerous remark)
Favorite Drink: hmmm, good question
Favorite Food: Chipotle...2 times a week
Favorite Activity: Whining.....hey, me too!
Favorite Cartoon Character: Poop Man!














Most Used Word: Yowza
Most Used Swear Word: Shit
World Philosophy: Poop Happens
Origin Story: Met Rachel in German class back in January of '02. I liked her, she rejected me, then we became friends. Fairly typical for my friendships.
# of times rejected my sexual advances: 18
Pissed Me Off When: Ah, the Billy Bragg concert. Well, first of all I should say that Rachel has pissed me off many times, but this one is the most recent. So, we're at the Billy Bragg concert at the Fine Line with Jay and Denise about a month ago. We got seperated from Rachel in the crowd at the beginning of the show. After the show, we start looking for her as the crowd clears out. Nothing! We can't find her! We look all arounf the Fine Line, and outside on the street. We walk to my car to see if she went there. Nothing! We drive around and go back to the Fine Line. Then I drove the route I thought she may have walked home. We went to her apartment and buzzed her. No answer. Now I'm freaking out! Then I decide to go back to my place and check my cell phone to see if she called....she did. Rachel had left the concert early because the wasn't feeling well, and got a ride home from a friend. You didn't say anything to us thought did you!!!!! Did you?! Argh!
Favorite Memory: Matt said I should be more positive and post my best memory of that person along with the "pissed me off" category. But that's too hard, so fuck that.
Favorite Geraldo Rivera Quote: "You know, it's not always the nuns that get raped. Sometimes its the strippers that get raped."
Strangest Physical Feature: Them baby hips
Odor Factor: 2
Likelyhood to belch and/or fart in your presence(1-10): 7
#1 Thing she's glad she doesn't do: Keep and Excel spreadsheet of her daily activities. Aren't we all. Geez, you'd have to be a psychotic to do such a stupid thing.

Friendship Grades:

Reliability: C (Billy Bragg Concert!)
Honesty: B (Doesn't like to ruffle any feathers, but she's getting better at this)
Conversation: A (We NEVER run out of things to talk about)
Common Interests: B-
Closeness: A-
Staying Power: A- (We've been friends a long time...her being a girl and all)

Overall Friendship Grade: B+

Personal Profile #2 "Jason"

Jason Johnson

Nicknames: JJ, Surly, Pecs, Muscles
Best Quote About Jason: "That guy is flatulent!"
Years Known: 6 (I think)
Car: You know, I don't know what kind of car he has. It's some kind of silvery thing.
Dwelling: Garden Level Apartment on St. Louis Park/Minneapolis border.
Favorite Drink: Beer
Favorite Food: Salami
Favorite Activity: Modeling, and shaping his body!
Favorite Sport to Watch: Football/Basketball
Favorite Sport to Play: Basketball
Favorite Cartoon Character: Spongebob Squarepants! Duh....who else?!










Origin Story: Jason and Burt came to play basketball with us back in the old days, when we played at the Super Block in the summer. Of course, then it got ugly as I got into an argument with Burt and Jason over blocking/charging calls. Yep, they didn't play for a while after that. I ended up having a class with Burt and becoming friends with him and later Jason as they returned to basketball. Aww, isn't that special.
Pissed Me Off When: See Origin Story
Strangest Physical Feature: Chest Tatoo
Odor Factor: 5
Likelyhood to belch and/or fart in your presence(1-10): 10!
#1 Activity we've done over the years: Basketball, basketball, basketball. Outside of that, we probably just eat out a lot and burn movies. Yeah, it's prety much just sports. Playing basketball, and going to Gopher Basketball games back when we had season tickets. That all ended when Surly's car was broken into while we were at a game. I don't think he's been to a gopher basketball game since.

Friendship Grades:

Reliability: A- (I gave you the minus since you're always so busy...you've never really screwed me though)
Honesty: A (Sometimes a little too much so)
Conversation: B- (Bit of a quiet guy. Two quiet people together can create a lot of dead air)
Common Interests: B+ (Sports and politics...the big 2....and sometimes music too, Flogging Molly)
Closeness: B- (Jason doesn't really like to talk a lot about personal issues...mine or his)
Staying Power: B+ (6 years is getting to be a while)

Overall Friendship Grade: B+

MarxistGopher Update - Jill Sobule

Okay, so I wasn't able to talk Butler into playing Axis & Allies, but we did end up playing a little baseball. And damn did it feel good to get out there and swing the bat again. It's been a while. Surprisingly, I could still hit a little, although I was just throwing the ball up to myself. If someone was pitching there's no way i could have made contact. It was a good time and beautiful weather. (hope you don't hate me Butler after that profile I did of you. Someone said it was a little mean. Wait until they see theirs! hahaha[evil laugh])

So no game, but we watched 'Fever Pitch' and ate Ben & Jerry's instead. I like 'Fever Pitch' more and more each time I see it(3 times). And no, it's not because it's a romantic comedy, Its about a guy thats so obsessed with a sports team his life totally revolves around it. Come on, how could I not like that movie! But I think I really like it because the Red Sox finally come through for him and win a World Series. It helps me to fantasize about the Gophers dramatic run to the Rose Bowl! Well, I can dream can't I.....I mean, it has to happen some day...doesn't it?

But what I really wanted to post about today was Jill Sobule. I saw her when she opened for Billy Bragg at the Fine Line last month. I'd never heard of her before that and wasn't really expecting too much....but she was great! I really enjoyed her set and I've been meaning to search the web for some of her songs, especially "Hall of Fame," her hilarous song about Bush. Well, today I finally did that.

So I thought I'd just post a link to a bunch of her songs to try to spread the Jill Sobule love, if you will. Most of the links will have the lyrics or something explaining something about the song on there. If you're only going to give a few of them a shot, I recommend these few to get you started. These are my favorites in no particular order(okay, a little order)...

-Hall of Fame, the hilarious song about Bush. She opened the concert with this one and sucked me in. I think it's better live. Although I think most of her stuff sounded better live. Damn, I hope I'm not discouraging you from listening now, it really is great on the album too....just better live....I think it's the crowd.
-Underdog Victorious, which is about exactly what the title says. Who doesn't love the little guy, the underdog....kind of like the Red Sox finally winning a World Series or the Gopher Football team finally winning the Big Ten! Dream, dream dream...
-Lucy at the Gym, for the ladies...just kidding.
-Happytown (Live), this is my song, and I love it. She explains it....listen.
-Most Miserable Girl (Live), just a great tune...plus she says 'cunt' in it!
-Dick and Harry, Jill doesn't sing this one, because you gotta have a man sing this. She goes Brokeback Mountain on Cheney's ass! Pun intended.
-Heroes
-All The Young Dudes (w/Billy Bragg), Just for Jay. He really loves this song.

Anyway, if you've come this far in my post, congratulations! I just wanted to introduce you to Jill Sobule today. If you liked what you heard in that first group of her songs check out the list below. You should be able to right click on all the mp3 song links and then click 'Save link As' to download the song to your computer if you want it. Don't worry, I'm not stealing these songs from her. She has them all available for free download, so you don't have to feel guilty about it. She want you to do it! Enjoy the music! I'll have something much less substantial to say tomorrow.

Big Shoes (Live)
Houdinis Box
Rock Me To Sleep
Don't Fuck With Me
Billy's Thing (Live)
The End of Love
Jet Pack
Under The Disco Ball (Live)
The Girl in the Affair (Live)
Vrbana Bridge
Sweet Little Summer
Survivor
Sunny Liston
Pilar(Things Here Are Different)
Karen By Night
I Live Like A Freshman
The Jig Is Up
Joey
The Last Lime
Somewhere in New Mexico

Personal Profile #1 "Butler"

Jason Butler

Nicknames: Sly, Butler, Smelly Jason

Years Known: Roughly 12
Car: None...this can be extremely annoying.
Dwelling: Rents house in Crystal with Tony Bristol and another roommate. But has lived many places over the years, S. Mpls., Brooklyn Center, Robbinsdale.
High School: Robbinsdale Cooper (New Hope, MN)

Favorite Drink: Alcohol! Any kind.
Favorite Activity: Drinking!...and working at Cub.
Favorite Sport to Watch: Hockey
Favorite Sport to Play: Basketball
Favorite Cartoon Character: Tasmanian Devil












Origin Story: I met Butler back in Jr. High, at Hosterman Middle School. That must have been in 7th grade, in about 1993-1994. Butler moved and went to Sandburg the next year. When we started High School at Cooper in 1995 we were in the same home room, with good old Ron Chagnon. Anyway, we became friends Freshmen year of High School. High School was the days of snow football in the empty lot across the street from my house after school almost every day with Scott Burdick and Brian Hawks. Ah, memories.
Pissed Me Off When: He was supposed to buy Flogging Molly concert tickets for us the week before the show. The day before the show he tells me he never bought the tickets, but by then it was already sold out. I wan't able to get tickets and missed the show. Thanks a lot Butler! :(
Strangest Physical Feature: Constantly changing hair colors and styles. Oh, and a shout out for that great hat covered in pins!
Odor Factor: Can be high at times...8
Likelyhood to belch and/or fart in your presence(1-10): 7
#1 Activity we've done over the years: Well, I'd have to say playing sports in general is probably number 1 with all those years of football and then all those years of weekly basketball lately. But a close second would probably be board games. Whenever Butler could come over to my house in high school(after the walk across a semi-frozen Twin Lake usually) he'd spend the night and we'd play board games all night. I've got a great photo of us, probably from around 1995, with me in my Jurassic Park pajamas, playing chess in my living room with a large image of Adoph Hitler on the TV in the backround. Classic!

Friendship Grades:

Reliability: A- (great,except for the ticket incident)
Honesty: A
Conversation: C
Common Interests: C (we have sports and board games)
Closeness: B
Staying Power: A (12 years is a fucking long time)

Overall Friendship Grade: B+

MarxistGopher Update - Monday April 17th, 2006

Yawn, Easter is over...Praise the Lord. I really hate holidays. Everyone is hanging out with their families and all the stores are closed, so I can't even get any errands done. What a waste of a day. The only time holidays are good for anything is when the fall during the week and you get a day off work. But when they fall on a weekend it's an absolute nightmare. I was invited to have Easter dinner at Adam's yesterday though, which I took him up on. Who am I to turn down a free meal....I'm poor. What I also hate about holiday meals is that they always occur at what seems to be lunch time, between 1 and 2. That's a late lunch, it sure ain't dinner. By the time I got home at 4:00 I was already starting to get hungry! I decree that holiday dinners need to be later in the day.

I also had the pleasure of spending the afternoon with Adam's two nephews, 3 and newborn. Wow, children are strange creatures. I couldn't imagine why anyone would want one of those! There is no way I'm EVER having children. Little annoying money pits that will only turn from annoying kids into annoying adults. Give me cats any day!

That's pretty much all I did yesterday. I came home and tried to put some time into The MarxistGopher Report and then watched TV and organized my miniatures. Oh, the miniatures. That's an interesting story, but I'll save that for another post.

Today I'm just sitting around the house watching movies and doing some small crap around my apartment. Butler's scheduled to come around after work today, and we'll probably go toss the baseball around for a while. I'm gonna try to get him to play a game of Axis & Allies Miniatures with me after that, but that could be tough. Apparently I don't have enough geeky friends. Alright, I guess there's not much else to say right now. Just going to try to enjoy my last dy off before the hellish week of work begins anew tomorrow.

I'm Back!

Well, it's been a long time faithful readers(okay, I know no one reads this anymore), but I'm finally back posting on the MarxistGopher Report. Now that the sports season is over I'll have all summer long to try and kill time by posting on the old MarxistGopher. I can't promise that I'll post everyday, but I'll try to keep the site updated at least a few times a week.

I have some interesting new ideas for the blog that I hope to start work on this week.

-Personal Profiles (with the success of the Basketball profiles from a year ago I've had requests to bring something like that back again. So I will be posting profiles of all my friends and aquaintences over the next few months) I can only hope they will be as entertaining as the Basketball profiles were. (Oh, and don't worry I will be keeping the old archives on the site so you can still go bck and read those great old Basketball profiles if the mood strikes you.

-A Movie Database (I'm not exactly sure yet what form this will take, but I will be adding a database of all the movies I own and ratings of those movies. I dont think I'll be doing full reviews of every movie though, simplu because its too damn time consuming. Sorry.

-MarxistGopher Updates (This will probably be the most uninteresting new aspect of MarxistGopher Report to most of you. It will just be my daily/semi-daily rants about whatever's going on in my life and whatever I feel like talking about at the moment I decide to post.)