A Little Joke for Your Friday

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. "I should be in charge," said the brain , "because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen". "I should be in charge," said the blood, "because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away." "I should be in charge," said the stomach," because I process food and give all of you energy." "I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go." "I should be in charge," said the eyes, "because I allow the body tosee where it goes." "I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss. The moral of the story? The asshole is usually in charge!!

MarxistGopher Exclusive - New Vikings Uniforms

The new uni's won't be officially unveiled until 6pm tonight, but The MarxistGopher Report was able to get, through unnamed sources, images of how they look a few hours ahead of time. I don't care for them....what's with the white stripe down the sides of the jersey?! We're the fucking Denver Broncos! Too much white, not enough yellow. I'm afraid to see what the helmets look like. What do you all think?

MarxistGopher's 2006 NFL Mock Draft

To go along with the new draft countdown clock, I've put together my own mock draft. If every other idiot can do it, so can I....

We'll see how I do. This is all assuming there are no trades(which there certainly will be). After the draft I'll add up my overall record and my record on my 10 'LOCK' picks. "With the first pick in the 2006 NFL Draft, the Houston Texans select"....duh....

1. Houston Texans - Reggie Bush, RB USC












2. New Orleans Saints - Mario Williams, DE North Carolina St.
3. Tennessee Titans - Matt Leinart, QB USC
4. New York Jets - D'Brickashaw Ferguson, OT Virginia
5. Green Bay Packers - A. J. Hawk, LB Ohio State
6. San Francisco 49ers - Vernon Davis, TE Maryland
7. Oakland Raiders - Vince Young, QB Texas
8. Buffalo Bills - Haloti Ngata, DT Oregon
9. Detroit Lions - Michael Huff, DB Texas
10. Arizona Cardinals - Jay Cutler, QB Vanderbilt
11. St. Louis Rams - Jimmy Williams, CB Virginia Tech
12. Cleveland Browns - Winston Justice, OT USC
13. Baltimore Ravens - Brodrick Bunkley, DT Florida State
14. Philadelphia Eagles - Chad Jackson, WR Florida
15. Denver Broncos - DeAngelo Williams, RB Memphis
16. Miami Dolphins - Ernie Sims, LB Florida State
17. Minnesota Vikings - Chad Greenway, LB Iowa
18. Dallas Cowboys - Manny Lawson, LB/DE North Carolina St.
19. San Diego Chargers - Donte Whitner, S Ohio State
20. Kansas City Chiefs - Tye Hill, CB Clemson
21. New England Patriots - Richard Marshall, CB Fresno St.
22. San Francisco 49ers - Kamerion Wimbley, DE/LB Florida St.
23. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Antonio Cromartie, CB Florida St.
24. Cincinnati Bengals - Jonathan Joseph, CB South Carolina
25. New York Giants - Demeco Ryans, LB Alabama
26. Chicago Bears - Santonio Holmes, WR Ohio State
27. Carolina Panthers - LenDale White, RB USC
28. Jacksonville Jaguars - Laurence Maroney, RB Minnesota




29. New York Jets - Bobby Carpenter, LB Ohio State
30. Indianapolis Colts - Ashton Youboty, CB Ohio State
31. Seattle Seahawks - Kelly Jennings, CB Miami
32. Pittsburgh Steelers - Sinorice Moss, WR Miami

Broken Down Bowlers.....with no money

Ho-hum, another day another dollar.
Another weekend ends, another week begins.
Working for the weekend...etc, etc.

Since i'm back and work and bored out of my frickin' mind, it's time for another post. Isn't it funny how you only hear from MarxistGopher when he's at work? Hmmmm....makes you think.

Don't worry Denise, weekends just seem to be my down time. I haven't given up yet. It would be more fun ig more people commented on my posts, but lets be real, I'm not saying anything that interesting. So I don't blame you. I'm probably losing a reader a day ;)

I wanted to tell the story of my night of bowling last Thursday. It's been too long to give a detailed report, but I'll give the brief version. I had a great time! It was a lot of fun! I got in 6 hours of bowling (from 6:00-Midnight) for $7. Talk about getting your moneys worth! Jason Johnson went with me and we met Brianne there. We bowled roughly 3 games and drank a pitcher of Miller Lite....i got as little buzzed. After Jason left I bowled a game with Brianne and then Jess from the MPC came with her boyfriend and we bowled a couple more games. When we finally left just before 12:00 is when it really got interesting.....

The drunk in the next lane came over and started hitting on Brianne; which was very emasculating, since I was sitting next to her all night! Geez, how did he know we wern't together...even though we weren't...but how does he know that!? Then, after we head out, Brianne's car won't start. I've never seen anyone who's luck is as bad as hers with cars, buses, and trains....basically transportation in general. She's had more things break down then I have time to write about here. Though I can't understand why this car wouldn't start. I mean, thats a nice looking car. That girl is RICH! Anyway, i ended up giving her a ride home and she came back the next day and her car strarted up. (Apparently it was a wiring problem and the rain that night had caused the problem. The next day it had dried out and started right up). So that was the night! It was really a lot of fun. I gave it a 9!


That's about all that's going on right now. I had a pretty boring weekend or TV watching. I actually got so bored yesterday I came into work to play baseball for 15 minutes and then went home. Wow! I need to find something else to do on the weekends, especially that Monday off. That's the problem with having a weekday off work. All your friends are working, and there's ain't much to do. This is especially true when you're poor, like me! I was able to sell the 7 jerseys on eBay for $901 + $70 for shipping(i ripped them off) - actual shipping costs - eBay fees = rougly $900\2 (gotta split it with Matt) = $450 for me. But I bought those Gopher Football Season tickets at the Spring Game saturday ($390). And that was with the 20% discount! My seats suck too. They're in the corner of the endzone by the student section down close to the field. Oh well, I won't be sitting in them anyway. I'll give the crappy games away and sell the good ones on eBay to make some of my money back. It's all about the priority for the new stadium!

That reminds me, I have to post something along with my Spring Game photos. Maybe I'll tackle that one tomorrow. I guess this post wan't that interseting either. Oh well, you'll have to wait until something interesting happens in my life or I become motivated to talk about something besides my daily life and sports.

Ah, the new MarxistGopher Report, meaningless rants. I might post again this afternoon to make up for my weekend of neglect. But I warn you, it will be meaningless....