Jason 'Surly' Johnson
Position: Forward (3)
Other Nicknames: 'JJ,' 'J-Bone,' 'Maglite' (after the instrument used on someone's head in a movie theater brawl...and yep, it really happened!)
Hometown: St. Paul (lets put everyone from East of the Mississippi on the 'Bad' team next time)
Favorite Place on the Court: Why the lane of course. He spends most of his time 'camped' there.
Interesting Fact: Really hates Scott Kenyon.
Defining Character Trait: Surlyness(like a Teamster)
League Background: Originally invited to Friday basketball by Jay and Matt back in his census days. I ended up arguing blocking/charging calls w/Burt that first time they played, and JJ and Burt left with a middle finger salute from me. We didn't see them again for over a year...then JJ became a regular and we all made nice nice.
Strength: hmm....Strength...His overall body strength allows him to often establish good position in the post; an overall intense player on both ends of the court who plays great post defense, even on players taller than him; long strides allow him to get to the rim often (and give him an excuse when he pulls out an nba no-call type travel).
Weakness: Inconsistancy...has a tendency to get into a deep rut at times leaving him as no offensive threat whatsoever; he is the definition of an inconsistant player.
Grades-
Offense: B
Defense: B+
Rebounding: B+
Passing: B
Hustle: B+
Attitude: B-
Overall Grade: B
14 comments:
I hate to have another nickname debate, but how is his nickname "campy"? This is the most blasphemous of all nickname suggestions. Maglite doesn't ring like a good nickname, but has a story about his general thuggery. Even "surly" is better. What's the Simpsons' reference here? I strongly suggest "Stumpy" after a particularly stubborn and surly Walter Brennan character from the John Wayne film Rio Bravo. Watch closely. That grizzled old toothless gunhand shares the gruff demeanor of my brother. Can anyone back me up on this reference? When it comes to surliness, he's got even Andy beat.
It's true that Stumpy and I argue on the court, but not to be outdone, the true barrister of the basketball court is Wendelberger.
2 other inaccuracies:
1. After Stumpy and I first showed up together, it was stumpy who did not show up for a while. I think I played regularly back then. And I think we were actually arguing about the common friday night practice of the sloppy pick that turns into a post up right when Andy pulls up for a jump shot. Let's face it--it's a moving pick.
2. The fact that he dislikes someone who has BO and makes joke references to the holocaust is not interesting. If you gave me a name of someone who did not find Zyklon B-man obnoxious and offensive--that would be interesting...
I don't dispute most of the grades since he is inconsistent. However, I think his defense grade should be much higher, especially since he can defend any position on the court better than almost any one of us. He also plays help Defense well. And I hate to admit it as it will cost me future debates, but he does so without fouling as much of the rest of us as well.
I wish I could be first to argue in favor of bumping up Jason's Defense, but his good brother Burt beat me to it.
Jason may be the one player on the court whom I would really rather not guard me. "Tenacious" comes to mind when thinking about how to describe Jason's defensive play. He just refuses to give up position on the block and will dog you up and down the court--especially if he's not shooting well.
That said, I think our categories of analysis are seriously lacking. "Offense"? Who cares. "Defense"? Irrelevant. We need categories like these:
Fashion Sense
Foul-O-Meter
Ticky-Tacky Quotient
Trash Factor
Brittleness
Generosity
Plays Most Like This NBA Player
Dumbest On Court Outlier
Most Revealing Statistically Valid Off Court Data
If He Were a Basketball Play, What Play Would He Be?
Fashion Sense: A, but on the court D for wearing Duke shorts often
Foul-O-Meter: Low, but when he's guarding me, high
Ticky-Tacky Quotient: Low, but when I'm guarding him very high
Trash Factor: Go F yourself, Burt is not trash talk.
Brittleness: N/A
Generosity: Scroogish
Plays Most Like This NBA Player
Dumbest On Court Outlier
Most Revealing Statistically Valid Off Court Data: Went 0-2 on an attempt date 2 women in a sit-com like effort.
If He Were a Basketball Play, What Play Would He Be?: the ol' picket fence
By the way, keep fighting! Don't let the GradTrac vote get you down. Solidarity!
I missed a couple categories, but I'll leave them to others. Jay W. should field the NBA reference.
i'm gonna give some props to surly's O , in that his post-up game on the left block [wait, the side's determined by looking from the FT line, right?] emerged a year or two ago, and his turn to the center became almost impossible to stop.
who is this zyklon-B man (and we don't play ball with him, do we)?
Favorite Simpsons line: "Hey, Surly only looks out for one guy...Surly!"
-Surly
I should add that he's one of the Seven Duffs(The walking Duff bottles that frequent the Duff Gardens leisure park. They include Tipsy, Surly, Sleazy, Queasy and Remorseful).
me only counts 5 duffs there...
hence 'including.' Don't know the names of the other 2.
...but I just found out. They are 'Edgy' and 'Dizzy.'
I used to go by el calvo because of the haircut, but that's no longer applicable. JJ isn't quite creative enough. I like 'camel' because I don't need much liquid (and I put the hump in ya back), 'surly' because I am, and squinty because I don't play with glasses even though I should (although there are several of us in that boat).
On to the inaccuracies. Maaaaad Cow is right, I hold a grudge much longer than my lil bro, and it was me who didn't show up for a while, but it wasn't a year, just the summer. I also don't camp out 'in' the lane, but rather with one foot in the lane, thus avoiding the oft-called 3 second violation.
I have two positives to mention before I start ripping myself. One is that I do pride myself on my 'd'. Zone, or Man, I think I'm one of the best at each position. That leads me to self-adulation #2. I'm also one of the most versital of our players. If we remember back to when I wieghed in at a more resonable amount I often played the 1 or 2, while now I'm often a 3, 4, or (rarely) a 5.
On to the ripping
Offense C+ (inconsistancy is my
biggest downfall, and
unfortunately I don't
know how to stop it)
Defense A
Rebounding B+
Hustle C+
Attitude B- (I've been known to
swear at myself
louder than anyone on
the court, and
several people
thought I was going
to punch the commie a
few weeks back)
Ball-handling B- (just when I
think I've got
it, I dribble
off of my foot,
although, I am
gradually
getting better
with the left
hand)
Passing B (Some of 'em are good,
and sometimes I miss
the obvious, and then
sometimes I launch the
ball way to friggin'
hard)
Stamina B- (yes, that is me
hanging back on d with
mike and jay)
Decision Making C+
Shooting C- (where the
inconsisitancy makes
its mark the most)
Overall B-
I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it people like me. My shrink said I can't beat myself up so much.
ps Great pic, but what the fuck is Josh doing in the backgound? He looks like a kindergartener who's afraid to ask the teacher for a bathroom break!
Hey Fats. No worries. The man who named his fantasy football team "The Zyklon Bees" has not been seen recently near a basketball court (nor a bar of soap).
Nice call on Josh's curious pose, Stumpy. Tha's a good'n! Tell me someone else has seen Rio Bravo except the hayseeds from the East Side of St. Paul.
Last time I played with Stumpy, I realized he is no longer my beanpole older littler brother. His gut is small but growing and he has guns. Put those pythons away. I guess he realized if you're going to act like a teamster, you better look like a teamster. Our dad is a card carrying member. So lazy, so surly.
I've been in basically a day long panic attack about the state of my dissertation and have not been able to concentrate for the 15 minutes it takes to write coherently in the blogisphere ... so you know I've been a nervous wreck all day. I'm calming down now so I'll write a bit here.
Surly is certainly one of the two or three most versatile players we play with. He can play any of the positions if his team needs him to. He fits most naturally in the 2 or 3 spot but is a good enough ball handler, rebounder and interior defender to play any of the spots.
J-Bone has a well-rounded offensive game. He can get very hot (although I don't think he runs that cold) from outside and he can hit that jumper from just about anywhere outside the arc -- I'd say the only place he doesn't like to shoot from is straight on.
He has a good slash move to the basket and can get his shot away against some of the best shotblockers we play with. He's another player that shoots some interesting looking shots that go in.
He can run the floor well (some migh say he gallops) and he can post up.
There is a lot to like about Jason's game. He plays tough defense, gets more than his share of rebounds, and is a team player.
Jason's big weakness is one that many of us share -- he has trouble creating his own offense. He can't get his jumper by himself and his slashing drives are most effective on the break, he can have trouble getting that move working against a set defense. And he is a strong right handed player. But those aren't huge shortcomings for a bunch of guys playing pick up basketball on Friday nights.
Offense B
Defense A
Rebounding A-
Hustle B
Attitude B-
Ball-handling B
Passing B-
Stamina B-
Decision Making C
Shooting B+
Overall B
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