Jay 'French Pastry' Wendelberger
Position: Guard (1, the only true point guard)
Nickname I wanted to use but couldn't, because its been so long since he's worn them: 'Shades'
Favorite Team: Green Bay 'She' Packers
Favorite Activity: Hugging the TV.
Most Annoying Attribute: Blind optimism.
2nd Most Annoying Attribute: Big Ten Fantasy Football Dominance.
Comparable TV Character: Comic Book Guy....'worst profile ever.' (for his game-playing Simpsons-watching nerdiness, not his size) Jays bright yellow skin also makes any other comparison completely unworkable. Though a strange combination of Homer and Lisa does make some sense.
Interesting Fact: Spends more money on board games than food. Have you seen how much those damn games we play cost?! Well...maybe not more than food. Have you seen Jay eat?
League Background: Another league founder...though he hasn't been a regular this past semeseter. And we're all very, very dissapointed with him. :( (Actually he has been a regular again lately, so I retract my previous statement)
Strength: Passing...there is no better passer at Friday night basketball than Jay. Tough he sometimes likes to get a little too fancy, hence the nickname. If you're ever asked "who is the most unselfish basketball player you know?" be sure to answer 'Jay.' I think he'd like that. Wait...he's not dead! Oh, this is awkward.
Weakness: Stamina...has a tendency not to get back on defense late in games. Though he always seems to find the energy for a good fast break.
Grades-
Offense: B+
Defense: B-
Rebounding: B-
Passing: A
Hustle: B-
Attitude: A
Court Creativivty: A
Nickname Creativity: D-
Overall Grade: B+
10 comments:
How can you all disrespect French Pastry like that. Leaving his profile up all day without a post. I had to jump in so at least it looks like someone posted. Gosh!
It was a long time ago that I first discussed organizing a basketball night with "french pastry" in the now defunct TA office. So to start off his analysis I must mention his excellent work in recruiting players and organizing the games not only in the early days but throughout the years.
As far as his game is concerned, I think his nickname (which I will take credit or blame for) sums up his on court style best. What I mean by french pastry is that Jay is always looking for the spectacular pass or play. He likes the lob pass, the pass off the backboard, the between the legs pass, and the no look dish just to name a few. Perhaps the nickname ESPN would fit as he is always trying to make a highlight reel play. But as often as french pastry can be sweet and enjoyable it can just as frequently be too rich and sweet and cause stomach pains. There are countless examples of Jay making a great pass on one possession and then the next possession throwing the ball to his recycled nickname ghosts on the sidelines. Yet these nicknames and brief examples do not do justice to ESPN's game. On offense there is no question he is an outstanding distributor of the ball. He consistenly looks to feed the ball to a person and place were a good shot can be taken. In addition, he does many of the little things on offense that are sometimes missed. for example, he makes timely weak side cuts to the hole and he has an underrated ability to take the seed to the bowl. While not the most accomplished outside shooter in the league ( I just called our games a league how funny is that :) ) he has a respectable mid range shot that you must defend or risk getting burned. And on the boards he is not as active as Sly or other guards perhaps but he is the most physical rebounding guard in the league. Of course, he takes pride in his passing (you know he counts his assists every game) and despite my opening words above he really is a good passer and I have benefited more than once from some "french pastry" setting me up for an easy one. On defense, he is a willing and effetive help defender often coming down in the post to force a steal or a bad shot. Pastry also excels at the surprise stip. This is where he simply runs at the ball while someone is dribbling or holding it. Actually it works much of the time and he garners many steals using this method. When he is operating on full energy Pastry can be a very good defender. On the negative, he can be broken down on the dribble, he does not challenge the outside shot consistenly, he does not block out well on the D boards and sometimes he helps too much leaving his man open for an easy cut or shot. His D style is definitely high risk, high reward. Playing lots of help and going for steals can produce great dividends but can also allow easy scores for the opposition. I think that many of his problems on the D side stem from fatigue and lack of stamina rather than lack of skill. Overall he is a solid defender and he can match up with almost any guard type in the league. Overall his D is better than a B-. One thing that must be mentioned from my personal experience is that Jay is one of the few players to look for the long outlet pass to start the break and as someone that has run out ahead of the D many times it is definitely frustrating to look back and see the guard staring at the floor. Finally, for all of French pastry's highlight reel attempts it is a testament to his smart play that he succeeds more often than he fails in creating a great play. He is very aware on the court and exploits others weaknesses and capitalizes on his own opportunities well. As a floor general he is the best in the league.
Now to the grades:
Offense B+
Defense B+
Rebounding B-
Hustle B
Attitude B+ (has been known to argue a call)
Ball handling B+
Passing A
Stamina C
Decision Making A
Shooting B
Nicknames D (lucky I'm an easy grader)
Basically French pastry plays an aggressive albeit smart brand of B-ball and he hopes to look flashy while doing it.
Let's take this systematiclly.
First off, French Pastry is genius and I will wear it with pride -- although I would have, of course, preferred the Big O.
Position: Yes, I am the point guard of the group. However, when you have no shot and are lost on offense without the ball, it's a good position to play.
If you think that by implying that the Green Bay Packers are women somehow belittles them, I (not so respectfully) disagree. Why not the Green Gay Packers. Locker room humor, what will they think of next!
Hugging the TV when the She Packers are on -- or after the Michigan RB has scored his third TD of the game!
Comic Book Guy, Ouch! Is there a worse Simpson Character to be compared to -- maybe that annoying guy whose always saying "Yeeessss?" And does this mean Denise is Principle Skinner's mom -- I don't think she's going to like that analogy.
All right, this is already way too self-indulgent for my guilt ridden Catholic upbringing.
So I'll end with one last Simpson reference -- I can't really quibble with these grades -- I'm just thrilled to get a passing grade, hey hey ha ha ha (in Krusty the Clown Voice)!
I guess, Andy, that by Profile 8, you've done everything perfect.
My memory of how this thing really got started:
Ben and Matt and I were at one of those Bars/Resturants in Seven Corners. (It wasn't Grandma's and it wasn't Sgt. Preston's) It was after some Department or TA function and Ben and Matt get to talking about thier glory years as High School Athletes. After a few (or more) minutes of this, Matt suggests that we (and I think by we he was talking about him and Ben) should get some kind of Department Basketball games together.
Ben, who has played a little basketball with me, says that's a good idea, and suggests I would play as well. Matt looks over at the short, long haired, optimist on his left with some incredulity. "You play basketball."
"Sure," Ben steps to my defense, "He can really handle the rock." Now the limits of Matt's disbelief have been stretched beyond the limit. "He can handle the rock," Matt responds with his characteristic forced, fake smile. You know, not the one he gets after he's just scored 11 points in a fifteen point game, but the one he gets, well, when he's just been told that the oddball sitting on his left can "handle the rock."
Well, the rest is history, as we say in the department.
Oh, and could you find a pre lobotomy picture of me?
I admit to pulling a French Pastry on this one and refusing to post until others did the same. I clearly killed the last thread with needless Scott Kenyon bashing.
I love his blind optimism. It's needed much more than the cynical defeatism of some others around here. I tend toward cynicism, but French Pastry is a good example.
He is another player I like having on my team. Good passing skills are underrated in general. Matt's post pretty much sums up Jay's game. Lots of flashy passing. Probably a few too many turnovers, but I'll take it. He runs the fast break and plays excellent help defense. I think he's clearly the best help defender as he stripped the ball from me numerous times. For this reason as well as his advanced age, he's well suited to the zone defense. Of course this is why he advocates for it so hard. He may not move his feet as well as Sly or Stumpy on defense when manned up, but he makes up for elderly endurance by having quick hands and just a general quickness.
I could picture the meeting of the minds that provided us with fieldhouse basketball. In fact, if asked to guess how it happened, I would have been very close. And I thought the shades were great. It suited his Jim McMahon-like passing. I don't actually remember what McMahon passed like, but he had shades on his helmet. And this has been the least flattering picture so far. Including the close up of Stumpy's huge shnoz. Wake up JP, Paul, Fats, and Stumpy. Where's the post love?
I love having Jay on my team because he'll get me the ball, even when I don't deserve it. I'm not really open, and I'm certainly not expecting a pass because most players will see that I'm not really open, but Jay for some reason thinks I am and more often than not he'll get that ball to me and expect me to do something with it.
Perhaps this is implicit in calling Jay a "playmaker," but Jay makes those around him play better. This is especially true when he and Matt play on the same team. They feed off each other in way that no others do and become better players for it.
I can't recall exactly how Friday night basketball started, but I think Jay might be engaging in some revisionist history--but then what did you expect.
Maadison Blaahger - to answer your regarding my recent whereabouts and lack of e-postage:
senior paper...rough draft due monday...behind...no time for internets-related tomfoolery...will have to catch up such hijinx once i have caught up on paper...must graduate...
I will count myself among those that are cynical defeatists. I guess that is what happens when you have been defeated for 25+ years. However, I will not use french pastry's thread to elaborate on my personal frustration with the world. Instead I want add one more aspect of French pastry's game that I alluded to in my last post but did not describe explicitly. French Pastry has exceptional vision and anticipation on the court. For example he can drive to the cup and pass to a spot he anticipates a teammate to moving to for an easy score. I must admit that many times his turnovers are the result of Jay making the right decision but his teammate not being aware enough to move to that spot or look for the ball. I speak from my own failure here. I recall on several occasions failing to haul in a pass because I did not make the right move to recieve it or was not prepared to catch it. This trait could fall under smart play but I want to highlight this specific ability because it helps explain the turnovers. Also, I do not know if French Pastry does this consciously, I believe he does (and Ben alluded to it in his post) but I think no one does a better job of trying to get everyone invloved in the offense. This is an underrated element as it helps keep everyone active offensively and leads to beter overall shot opportunities for the team. There is one small tendency french pastry has that bugs me though. On inbounds plays (from the top of the key) he never looks to set a screen or run through the D. He always just steps out and looks to get the ball. I know you are a guard but come on!
on an unrelated note-I forgot about the shades. It was Jim McMahonish but Jay is not as braty as Jimbo.
And what is this about my fake smile? A sheepish grin maybe or a nervous smile OK but a fake smile- Wow!
Ben's right you are doing some revisionist history...
no one has mentioned the skill that no one else on the court possesses: the straight on running short bank. damn, that makes me mad when i'm guarding him.
as for nicknames, i'd always thought it was wolverine since he drives the lane with his head seemingly lowered, beard tufts flying to the side, and titanium, er... maybe that's a bad name for a big televen fan who prolly hates michigan.
I have to add...the one thing that I really like about Jay is that he encourages my shooting. "Take that shot." And if I miss, it's "keep shooting...if they're gonna give you that shot, take it all night." Thanks for contributing to/encouraging my blackhole-ness. I appreciate it.
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