Andy “Nerves” Carhart
(Guest written by Josh Peterson)
Position: Guard (2)
Hometown: Robbinsdale
High School: Robbinsdale Cooper
Favorite Sport: Football
Interesting Fact: Would probably give his left leg for a date with a certain Gophers women’s basketball player.
Annoying Fact: Sometimes forgets that Friday night basketball is not Friday night social circle, which often causes much standing around on the court before the game can start while Andy is engaged in a gossip session with another player or two.
Random fact that makes Manute Bol cooler than Andy: When Manute first came to America, he had no idea how to use a microwave or an oven, so he cooked his food over his fireplace in his house. I don’t see Andy cooking any meals over the fireplace.
League Background/Attributes: As much of a regular as there is. Does a fantastic job of being responsible for all of the organization (that is, sending out the weekly emails). Has recently upgraded said emails by spicing them up with attempts at humor. Very often succeeds. Sometimes misses. Loves to play zone defense.
Strength: A true slasher, takes it to the hoop with the best of them, and can often score at will doing so and take over a game. Speed is a major asset - he is awesome on the fast break and is always willing to both push the ball up the court and to get back on defense to stop the break. When he’s on from the outside (and doesn’t let the trash talking get to him) his outside shot is a sure thing.
Weaknesses: Rebounding - due in part to his wiry frame and in part to lack of inside intensity and killer instinct, his willingness to body up and crash the boards is lacking. Can have a tendency to let opponents too easily get into his head and affect his shot. Is a better zone defender than man to man - can sometimes have a tendency to have trouble guarding the ‘give and go’ in a man to man setting.
Grades-
Offense: A
Defense: B-
Rebounding: C+
Passing: B-
Hustle: A
Attitude: No comment. This guy’s all over the map.
Overall Grade: B
45 comments:
Drew? Please! Why not And or Y or A these are just as exciting. Some suggestions: Black hole, nerves, hype-o, sunny, polly, trolly, flat, or mouse just to name a few.
As far as the grades, the rebounding grade is too low. Nerves grabs some tough boards especially on the offensive end. I'd say a B is a fair grade here. Passing, however, is a bit too generous. As black hole implies, sunny could stand to spit the marble more often particularly on a drive. I'd drop that grade to a C. The other grades seem reasonable. On the negative, Trolly lacks a true post-up game, could use the left hand better and rarely sets screens for others. He looks to shoot or score all the time. He needs to help his teamates more often. On the plus side, he is deadly from long range and can hit runners in the paint consistently as well as being potent in transition. He plays better help or "late" defense than straight up D and his long wings cut off passing lanes nicely. Overall grade B+
nice assessment - for the most part i think you are right on the money, with a few exceptions.
first of all, 'drew' was andy's suggestion. my nickname for him was commie bastard, but he insisted on adding drew - so don't blame me for the unoriginality. i do like your proposals, however. 'black hole' & 'nerves' are particularly fetching.
with regard to the grades, i have the following responses: i intially had a B- for rebounding - it was with nerves' input that the grade was dropped to a C+. while he does at times grab a decent board, more often than not it seems that he is reluctant to put a body on anyone and box anyone out. when he does get rebounds it is the result of the ball coming his way of him snaking his way in (so no physical rebounds). whether this is the result of his diminutive frame, a desire to leak out and get on the break (where he excels), or some unrelated childhood trauma i do not know. but i do personally stand by listing rebounding as a weakness of his.
when all is said and done, i basically agree with the rest of your assessment - i do agree that our friend flat does have the tendency to look to score/shoot the majority of the time and could stand to look to set up a teammate or set a screen more often. again i am going to chalk the lack of screen setting up to a reluctance to jeopardize his wiry frame.
the lack of a post-up game is true; however, he (wisely) doesn't attempt to force making it part of his game, and as he basically plays at the guard spot, he can afford to get by without it. so i don't feel like that can really be held against him. and (as you mention), his runner in the lane and his outside shot (when his nerves are under control) are potent enough offensive weapons without the addition of a low post game. and his stellar transition game also serves to counteract the lack of a low post game.
as far as 'D' - agreed, he is adept at clogging the passing lanes and getting steals, and is a quality defender in a zone setting where he can help out on rotations etc. in a straight up man to man scheme he can indeed get lost at times.
overall, a very quality assessment. nice to hear your input.
that's all for my (quite possibly non-sensical) ramblings now.
I'm laughing cuz these posts are way longer than any responses to the political stuff...
haha so true.
it's all about priorities, my man.
I think we all agree on the political posts. The net is all about disagreement.
Andy's an A on offense that's for sure. Not much better than feeding the monster when he's hot. He's always good for some easy assists when he sets himself up in the corner.
I agree though that rebounding and defense are underrated by our guest profiler. And passing overrated. But it is difficult to be too tough on Andy for his shooting. He's a scorer and scorers have to shoot.
Andy's got to stop punching walls if he wants to increase his attitude score (or get one).
I'm having a little trouble with this because I think Instant Offense should get an overall grade of an A- but his grades don't seem to add up to it. Wtf, he deserves an A- whatever that passing grade falls to.
looks like you're too hard on even yourself, andy (while i was entirely responsible for the rest, the grades portion of the profile was written with strong input (that leaned mostly toward the negative) from andy.
but i've said it before and i'll say it again - keep it coming. nobody can be good at everything and everyone has weaknesses. there's no need to hurt anyone's feelings, but don't shy away from doling out the "low" (the scare quotes were to reference the whole grade inflation thing) grades in certain categories.
also, it's going to be fun to see what effect (if any) these profiles have next time we play - will people consciously or subconsciously alter their games in reponse to this good-natured constructive criticism? will andy all of the sudden come out like a cross between dennis rodman and john stockton, going for every board and every assist opportunity possible while never shooting? will dave show up having cut off his elbows so as to prevent himself from wielding them maliciously on the court? will i speak only kind words of encouragement instead of the trash that usually spews from my pie hole? we'll see...
Sans a "toughness" measure, this grading system is biased in favor of guards. Therefore in the future I refuse to waste any more effort boxing out, rebounding, setting picks (let's see what happens to your offensive grades then), or spending my energy playing defense on the strongest player on the court. I'm going to hang around the top of the key and be in position to score lots of fast break layups, which will finally improve my hustle and offense grades.
So what's the deal with Andy and Janel McCarville?
Hey, no one can resist the lure of Janel McCarville.
Also...I must say that I agree with the 'nerves' nickname. Very good.
Hey, anonymous, Amen, brother!
I agree that the grading system could be expanded. Toughness would be a good one -- although a difficult one to grade. But something to reward (legal) physical play.
I'm all for a seperate Ballhandling grade. I think the Offense grade is too general (and while a seperate passing grade helps, I think some kind of grade dealing with one's own ability with the ball would help).
Hustle's a good thing to grade but, this is for the old folks, conditioning could be seperated from hustle. One is an effort grade the other all about the real limits of life!
Lastly, it seems like some kind of :gulp: team play grade might be worth considering. Although I fear the impact of such a grade on the team play challaneged. It's one thing to say you don't play good defense another to say you don't play well with others!
Where's #4? I'm on the edge of my seat -- although I hope it is not me.
Also...whats with the 'punching walls' comment? That was like 3 yrs ago! I'm much more calm now. Gosh!
I knew that was unfair when I wrote it -- it seems likely that after three years you have "stopped punching walls" but I had to comment on the fact that you were given a pass on the attitude grade somehow!
But you did punch that wall. That sets you apart from those of us who have never punched a wall. Actually, I probably did punch a wall when I was a young and impulsive as you. Who am I kidding?
I think Instant Offense is a far better nickname. How many of us when teams are made up look at Andy and think, "Oh no, nerves is on my team!" (Matt not included in this survey)
I think there's a clear majority that look at Andy when he's on their team and think, "Well, the worst we can do is score 6 or so points this game."
Only a "B" overall!? This is an outrage! Sheesh, what's with these Russian judges anyway? Still pissed about that delayed "second front" in the Big One and all those kick-ass James Bond movies, no doubt.
Really, Andy warrants at least an "A-" overall. He's one of only two players amongst us who can literally carry their teams in a pinch.
I don't think it's fair to downgrade Andy because he doesn't post up or set picks or rebound. Y'all may as well ask pigs to fly (sorry, Andy, in this analogy you're the pig, but keep in mind that pigs are very intelligent for animals and rather tasty, too, especially slow-cooked and served with some Bavarian-style sauerkraut, but I digress). He's not built to bang in the paint or set up other players' shots, he's built to slash and shoot.
I do agree, however, that Andy could be a better passer, especially late in games when he's tired and defenders are concentrating on him. But then if he looked to pass first he wouldn't be the scorer he is.
Thanks for coming to my defense Paul..."he doesn't post up or set picks or rebound."
Hey, I came to your defense too.
Just a couple of minor quibbles. Setting picks, in particular, isn't a matter of size or strength. It's about how you understand the flow of the game. I think this criticism is valid. Andy doesn't have to set the monster picks that Elbows sets. The point of Andy setting picks is that it would involve him in the offense more. Setting picks would be another way for Andy to get the ball and not have to create his own offense, and a way to perhaps create mismatches with the defense.
Regarding passing -- I'd actually suggest the opposite. Pass early, create the doubt (because lord knows, there's none now) maybe when you're driving late in the game you might dish and force the defense to play you straight up. At the end of a game, Andy's team usually needs Andy to score, not to dump it off to some scorer whose offense is graded in the B! range.
With regard to picks I would have to say that Pete is right, in that I'm actually afraid of getting run over/injured when I set picks. I can't take the pounding mentally. And more than half the time when I set picks up top I get waved off or they dribble away from the pick. Its very frustrating.
I can't remember the last time I "waved off a pick." That sounds slightly pornographic -- waving off a pick. No matter what it means, you won't find me doing any such thing on a basketball court.
Hey, I didn't say that Andy doesn't post up, set picks or rebound...well, OK, I did, but I meant it in the best way possible. Really.
Is anyone really suggesting that Andy pick Ben? Or "Elbows" LeVigne? What, are ya trying to get him killed? He's just not that durable. Have we ever played and he hasn't been writhing on the court in pain at some point?
Passing earlier in a game is a great suggestion, but keep in mind that Andy's a scorer. If he looks to pass first he may struggle to find his shot (or drive) as the second option.
Yes I am suggesting that Andy pick Ben and/or Dave. But more to the point, he doesn't pick sly or sleepy or anyone else who is not in the category of "too big to screen". Nerves is only looking to run off screens himself, spot up or bounce it to the goal. I am not suggesting that he should not do these things only that he could diversify his game by setting some screens and making others a threat thereby making himself more open for passes- as Jay alluded to. So if we add a team grade as Jay also suggests then i would have to say that Nerves gets a B-.
And I too do not understand the McCarville thing. I am more of a Lindsay Bowen man myself.
I'm suggesting Andy set a pick every once in a while. It doesn't have to be a good pick, one that disrupts the defense and maybe gets his defender out of position. If he whiffs on the pick itself, that probably wouldn't be a bad thing and might preserve "Tommy Hearns" to live to fight another day. Now there's a nickname that makes some sense for Andy -- the Hitman. The both have the same build, they both thrive with devastating fast offense and they both, apparently, have a glass chin!
And, I think from the tenor of these comments, Andy passing at the beginning, middle or end of a game would represent a diversification of his game that would improve him as a player. But no one is suggesting the Hitman should overhaul his game and look to pass first. He has to score to be effective -- keeping defenses honest at some point could make him even more so.
"The Hitman." I like that one.
I know you're an oversized galoot known for your ax skills more than your eloquence, Mr. Bunyan, but how the hell does a player "literally carry their teams in a pinch"?
unless, they're bunyan-sized, of course.
Don't tell me you've never seen Andy carry his team? I can't believe you've missed it. It's quite a sight.
Why should Andy diversify his game? It's not like he's a national economy dependent upon consuming Middle East oil or other nations' cheap plastic crap. Don't let illusions of autarky beguile you, Andy! The market demands that every producer do what it does best, and the market of our little basketball economy demands that you produce scoring, early and often. Other producers will supply the necessary picks, passes, rebounds and defense. As long as there's no outside interference or player engineering the market will provide your teams with nothing but victories.
That's pure genius -- best post yet. But remeber, he's The Hitman.
agreed.
best post ever.
kudos, paul bunyan.
close runner up is the post that points out the misuse of the word literally. when people do that it literally drives me bananas.
one time on the channel 4 news they said: coming up, a story that has eden prarie residents literally glues to their televisions. but then the story had nothing to do with any sort of adhesive. rather, it was about tax hikes or some such other wholly unrelated thing. there was no gluing involved. it literally made steam come out of my ears.
If I was still working at the Census, I could spend all day responding to this blog. Alas, I am among the few without an academic job (or any other job). My take is that Matt and JP have it. For a guy with nerves, he's not afraid to shoot. He can build a mansion with all of the bricks he's laying when he's not on. He does eventually shoot out of the slump. The stop and pop in the lane is his best shot as I always found it hard to defend. He is a good rebounder for a guy barely over one bill. When he's on he can dominate. His fast break prowess and endurance are worthy of a B+ or A-.
Jesus christ. I just realized you have a link to PETA on your blog. You eat meat all the time (but in an ethical fashion?). I personally have witnessed you eat at least 4 species of animal. And you have lots of rage for a pacifist. I've always said that. Two posts in a row for me is bad form, but I ask for the hipocrisy exception. But, no hipocrisy in your analysis of your own game except withholding your attitude grade, which I understand is a controversial issue lately. Like when you almost beat up that kid that was even skinnier and nerdier than you. Good times.
Actually Maadison, if you look closer at the top of my profile you will see that 'Pete' wrote it, not I.
As for PETA, I can only say that...yes, I am a hypocrite. But its just so easy to piss off meat eaters by just mentioning PETA...which was my goal. And clearly it worked like a charm.
Also Maadison...is this the best thing you have to do at 1:14am? I'd been asleep for over 3 hrs when you posted that...
And I don't remeber that..."when you almost beat up that kid that was even skinnier and nerdier than you." Plus, as i said to Jay just last week, I've always thought of myself as more of a dork than a nerd. There's a difference.
Hey! Don't mess up the basketball blog with politics. This is a one party country so there is nothing to talk about anyway.
Now back to ripping friends.
Actually, Jay, Hype-o thinks that Nerves is a good and appropriate nickname. I think you are a nickname recycler. The microwave, the ignitor, the hitman, sleepy (oh wait that was mine)how about something original. The thing is that nerves works on so many levels. He is always nervous, has nerve issues, but it can also be a positive like he has the nerves to make the shot and used as nervy it can mean he is very courageous. So overall it is a positive name that fits his personality. I think the name is fair, besides I think we should Nuk the UN.
I will have expanded grades for sleepy and elbows later... stay tuned ...literally.
speaking of basketball-related misuse of word literally, i came across this eerily similar example today (the perpetrator was espn.com nba insider chad ford, speaking in a live chat):
"In the end, I'd vote for [Tayshaun, not the musician, sadly] Prince because of the impact he's had on the team. He's literally carried the Pistons at times in the second half of the season."
man, his shoulders must be sore after that! 'literally' does not mean 'really' or 'very much so'...it means literally. it is not intended to be used to intensify a figurative expression. c'mon people (not you people...this rant is directe at media people).
but hey, at least this shows that jay could have a job at espn.com if he wanted one...
I think Jay would take that job at ESPN.com if it was offered to him.
i would certainly take a job writing for them if they offered me one.
NERVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's perfect.
Hot-head, and stop-and-pop are also good, but I'm still a fan of nerves.
I can remember a recent night of basketball in which the first ever charge was called in the history of 'pick up' ball. Clearly upset that he wasn't going to get the call he barrelled down the court and slammed into the 'perpetrator's' teammate, then launched the ball at another's head (read: mine). Ah, good times.
And to the grades
Offense A
Defense B
Rebounding B-
Hustle A-
Attitude D+ (trust me this might
have been lower
without the apology a
week later - I love
ya you commie bastard)
Ball-handling A-
Passing B-
Stamina B (surprising for someone
younger and smaller
than most of us)
Decision Making B
Shooting A+
Overall A-
I sit here, on my ass, in front of my computer, accused of being a nickname recycler.
I can answer this the only way any man can answer such a charge -- I AM a nickname recycler and I am proud of it. If nickname recycling is wrong, then I don't want to be right!
So here comes the Bambino, Air, Iceman, Never Nervous, The Golden Boy, Iron Mike, The Hammer (you remember him, the non steriod using home run champ), Super Sid, the Dober, Magic, Chocolate Thunder, The Big O, the Say Hey Kid, the Straw the Stirs NYC, the Assassin, Smokin Joe and Dr. J!
"Even Hype-O thinks its a good nickname." I've done enough research on resistance to know that what the oppressed say to the face of the oppressor isn't always the most reliable information. In the antebellum south, it wouldn't be too difficult to find "evidence" that slaves were "pleased" with their condition of servitude. That doesn't mean they were (Andy, in this analogy you are a slave, but it's not as bad as it sounds. Wait, it is as bad as it sounds).
Oh come on Jay. I'm disappointed in you. Comparing me to a slave owner and Andy to slave is a little much don't you think. Besides, you are not recognizing Andy's agency. He is under no threat of whipping if he dislikes my nickname and certainly he can get back at me with a nickname for me if he wishes. The truth is that I am the victim, just consider the evidence. Who has a newer car? Who has a bigger TV? Who has a bigger bedroom? Who pays more bills? Who works multiple jobs? Yes when one actually measures the evidence it becomes clear that I am the one who must suffer for Andy's sloughly lifestyle. So let's stop with the top-down, structure crushes agency view of the world. If Andy was truly an oppressed slave on the plantation of Matt then I think he should suggest my nickname be "the Master". And do not think this accusation distracts from your lack of creativity when it comes to nicknames. In fact, creativity should be a category in the player profiles and your grade will suffer for sure.
i see a category for stylish, but is there also a mark for charming good looks? if so, andy would win my vote. go, andy, go. i think you are nice to look at.
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